Have you ever thought about redefining productivity for chronic illness? I definitely have! Especially after discovering intentional living, which I spoke about in my previous post.
So far, living intentionally has really helped with navigating life as a chronically ill person. It also made me rethink some things I saw as ‘normal’ in life.
Which motivated me to redefine productivity to better align with my needs and values as a person with sickle cell disease.
First steps towards productivity
During my childhood, I experienced stigmatization, discrimination, and ableism because of my chronic illness, especially at school.
Some teachers didn’t seem to comprehend or believe that I couldn’t do certain things because of sickle cell disease. Despite them receiving medical statements explaining my health challenges and physical limitations...very weird.
I guess monthly doctor visits and frequent hospitalizations weren’t proof enough that I wasn’t exaggerating about my condition.
On top of that, I fell behind with schoolwork because of my frequent absences due to illness. And there wasn’t really anything in place to help me keep up with my studies.
So I worked hard to stay on track with school. And as I grew up, I associated productivity with doing everything possible to stay on top of my studies.
Pressured to remain productive
In high school, it was harder to stay on track with schoolwork, as the day-to-day student life was exhausting. Which eventually caused a burnout.
The thing is, I actually asked my school to study from home to prevent my condition from worsening. But some teachers didn’t approve, so I had to keep up with the exhausting academic routine. Which I tried to do via productivity.
In the end, the burnout triggered a pain crisis, which resulted in a hospitalization of several weeks.
During my recovery from that crisis, the school allowed me to study from home. And that was a huge relief, as it allowed me to do my schoolwork while managing my health!
Experiencing that made me question the day-to-day student life, as it seemed unattainable for chronically ill and disabled people.
And that was worrisome because I wanted to go to college but didn’t want to jeopardize my health by conforming to the exhausting ‘standard’ student routine!
But by the time I was graduating from high school, I still hadn’t fully recovered from the burnout, so I took a gap year.
Unrealistic for the chronically ill
During that year off, I reflected on my journey in educational institutions, and I realized my whole experience had been exhausting! Because I needed to manage my health but also stay on track with schoolwork.
So I tried to be very productive, and that affected my health horribly.
After reflecting on my experience with productivity in educational institutions, my sentiment about conventional productivity being unsustainable for chronically ill and/or disabled people solidified.
Because it’s a system that values consistency and predictability. But chronic illnesses and disabilities can be unpredictable, which makes it hard for us to meet conventional productivity standards.
And after studying from home during my recovery in high school, I knew ‘the norm’ could be adapted for those of us that are chronically ill and/or disabled.
Which made me hopeful that I could have a fair chance in college as a chronically ill person. There was no chance it would be worse than my previous experience in educational institutions, right…right?!
Well…college also sucked.
Productivity as a solution?!
So, my experience in college as a chronically ill person was a mess, which I talked about in this blog post.
To sum it up, I didn’t receive proper support after a pain crisis at the start of my third year. On top of that, I had a team project from hell with people who refused to consider my medical condition.
When I sought help from lecturers and the head of department, their solution was to keep me in that group as a learning experience for my teammates and me, which was an insane ‘solution’!
It was just annoying that this ‘just put in more effort’ toxic productivity sentiment was used as a one-size-fits-all fix, which is unrealistic and ableist.
You can’t just solve health challenges and physical limitations, discrimination, stigmatization, and ableism with productivity!
It was really unfortunate to see department members not really listening when I explained how that group work affected my health. Later on, after connecting my medical team with the school, I was finally taken seriously.
Which is unfortunate because chronically ill and disabled people should immediately get proper accommodations. That’s the only way for us to have a fair chance at academics!
Redefining productivity
After that experience in college, which triggered severe back-to-back pain crises, I am now in recovery.
I have been processing everything that happened in my last year and started my intentional living journey. Because of it, I redefined productivity to something that doesn’t ignore my health challenges and physical impairments.
Now I see productivity as doing something that adds to my well-being, which these three things have helped me with:
- Self-care (e.g., pacing myself, focusing on energy and pain levels, …)
- Flexible work (e.g., refusing to hustle, working in shorter periods, …)
- Celebrating the small things in life
So, with conventional productivity, I would have to push through pain and discomfort for the sake of finishing tasks. But by redefining productivity for chronic illness, I now focus on my energy and pain levels to pace myself and avoid a flare-up.
At first, I really struggled with this; however, I often had to remind myself that unfinished tasks can wait, but your health can’t, as it needs immediate care!
Concerning the tasks, working in shorter periods is better than longer ones. Because hustling for hours causes me pain and discomfort. Which doesn’t produce the best work. And that means I’d have to redo everything, which requires even more energy!
Lastly, I feel like celebrating the small things has made me realize how big their impact is in my life. In the list below, you can see some of the small things I celebrated during my recovery:
- Today, the pain levels have been bearable.
- Today I had a good time while cooking with my mom.
- Today I have been able to play a lot with my pet.
- Today I have been able to work on the blog.
How has it been so far?
Productivity has always been something that exhausted me but was ‘necessary’ to keep up with schoolwork and societal norms of being a student.
Which was unsustainable, as it negatively impacted my health. Because traditional productivity standards ignore the health concerns of chronically ill and/or disabled people.
So after graduating college, it was crucial to redefine productivity to better fit my life with a chronic illness! And it wasn’t easy, as I’ve known conventional productivity since childhood.
But I was able to do it via flexible work, self-care, and celebrating the small things! My redefined version is still far from being perfect, but it already has helped me a lot.
And if you’ve also struggled with traditional productivity, please leave a comment about it! I’m curious about how you’ve handled it. 😉
Photos used from Pexels by Arina Krasnikova, Polina Tankilevitch, and Monstera Production